


Do I Wanna Know?

by Galindrael



Series: A Very Dragon Age Christmas [24]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, DECFANFIC, Day 24, Day Twenty Four, Established Relationship, F/M, I know I'm a trash can, I'm not even keeping up with the prompts any more...., Idk what happened, Language?, This was supposed to fluff, angssttttttt so much of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-11 23:50:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4457240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galindrael/pseuds/Galindrael
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things escalate when something shows up in the Inquisitor's bedroom that sets the Commander off and Cullen spirals out of control. A clue or a distraction?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do I Wanna Know?

**Author's Note:**

> First off: I AM SO SORRY THIS SEMESTER GOT AWAY FROM ME. Also, to make things easier to finish I am forgoing the prompts unless it fits in easily with the next chapter. I finished this one and realized I never managed to get the "Childhood dream come true" prompt fulfilled. However, I will try with the next ones because I don't want to give up completely just yet. As usual thank you for the read and, again, I apologize for taking so long. I WILL finish this so help me, Maker.

It started off with little things over the next few days; sometimes Scáthach would leave it to her imagination or the increasing lack of sleep causing hallucinations, but now Cullen was making comments too. A misplaced report. An AWOL recruit. A lost sword. It wasn’t until Scáthach heard Cole talking to himself late at night in hushed angry tones that she knew something was wrong.

Cole was fidgeting, uncomfortable whispering quietly but harshly, “You _can’t_ have her. I will _not_ let you. Too bright, too loud, keep it away. Keep it _away_. Can’t let it cling, can’t let it grow here,” Cole was pacing now, “Not near her, not near _him._ But who are you?!” Cole screamed and in the dead of the night, his voice carried. When Scáthach lightly called to him, he turned and hugged her close, “Someone’s here. But I can’t see them. They’re hiding in whispers and shadows and I don’t know. I don’t know. But I know the voice. I _know_ the voice but I can’t name it, can’t help”. Cole leaned into her shoulder and she pulled him closer trying to keep herself and her mind still of the chill Cole’s words had left in their wake.

_Someone’s here._

\--

After she calmed him, she sent Cole to Solas who was still awake to try to figure out what the spirit was talking about  and she returned upstairs to her husband who was still hunched over the desk filling out reports.

Without turning around Cullen dipped his pen into the well, “Where’d you run off too? Dorian need a quick chat” he chuckled, eyes never diverting from the parchment in front of him.

“No,” her voice was soft enough to raise concern in Cullen and he turned to her, “After I returned the book to the shelf I heard Cole by the fire and he was…upset with something,” Scáthach was half-heartedly getting ready for bed but she didn’t want to name the terror that Cole had elicited. When Cullen placed a hand on her shoulder she jumped and betrayed all inner-struggle to keep it from worrying her Commander as well.

“Scáthach, _what_ is wrong,” he was watching her facial expressions closely, he was close enough to watch her pupils and assess her slightest movements and she knew there was no way to quell his already curious mind.

“Cole frightened me,” she looked to Cullen whose brows were pulled together and his thoughts already racing on ahead, “He sounded concerned, worried, Maker, even scared,” she leaned into him slightly, “Cullen, something shook him up. He thinks,” she sighed, “He thinks there’s something or someone bad in Skyhold and with the recent events I’m inclined to take his concern much more serious. What’s worse, is whatever it is it’s familiar to him”.

“We should assess Skyhold in detail tomorrow, but for tonight, I’ll set out a few extra guards to take watch for the night and then we should call the others to formulate a plan once they’re made aware. Perhaps Cole was just being, well, compassionate?” Cullen was rubbing her shoulder, trying to ease her thoughts. When she just nodded Cullen tucked her into bed and followed shortly after.

 

\--

Cullen woke to his shoulder being violently shaken, when he looked to Scáthach and saw the look of terror on her face, he shifted his attention to the object in question. Their mirror was crusted with red lyrium crystals and the glass itself was shattered; a note pinned to what was left of the exposed wood by a dagger. As Cullen began to get up to investigate, Scáthach tried to pull him back from the all-too-familiar substance but Cullen kept his pregnant wife from leaving the bed and after slipping his hand into his glove, grabbed the dagger and the note.

Cullen returned to the side of the bed where Scáthach was trying to read what was written in poor penmanship, “A debt is owed”.

Scáthach was now right behind in him in the robe he bought for her. “What does that even mean,” She leaned closer to analyze it without touching it.

“We need to call a meeting” Cullen set it down and looked to their mirror, “And have that removed from our quarters”. Cullen turned and found a loose white shirt to pull over his breeches he slept in. Cullen pulled up his snow boots and went to help Scáthach do the same, her swollen belly beginning to interfere with dressing herself. Cullen took the robe from her and pulled on her coat as they descended the stairs. Cullen, concern overtaking his usual need to be chivalrous and he sped up to open the door and startled the guard outside.

“Ser Cullen?” he noticed the Inquisitor behind him, “Lady Rutherford? Is something wrong?” The recruit ‘s brows were pulled together and Cullen appreciated the fact that he seemed genuinely concerned.

“Has anyone been up the stairs since my wife and I went upstairs?” Cullen turned slightly when he felt Scáthach come up to his right and he placed an arm around her.

“No, Ser, just you and the misses” he smiled but Cullen just nodded.

“I need you to rouse Sister Leliana and Ambassador Montilyet, it is an urgent matter” the recruit began to take off, but Scáthach called out more instructions.

“Bring them here, please and once you’re finished gather a few more recruits and wait by your post for further instructions”. Scáthach’s voice slightly faltered, only Cullen noticing the slight change.

“Yes, Inquisitor” and he took off to do as he was told.

\--

Neither ambassador seemed happy to be awoken at such an hour, but they were there nonetheless.

“What is the matter, Inquisitor,” Leliana asked before she yawned, which caused Josephine to yawn.

  
“Our enemies…are we sure there are none near Skyhold?” Scáthach asked quietly so only they would hear.

“No, all of them are many miles from the keep,” her  mind seeming to sharpen back up, “Why do you ask?”

“Is everything alright?” Josephine walked closer and could now see how shaken up she was.

“Let us show you,” Scáthach said, as she began to head back up to their room, the red glow obvious from the top of the steps.

 

“What in Andraste’s name?!” Josephine began to walk towards it when Cullen suddenly reached out to her, and held on to her sleeve.

“Don’t go near it, don’t touch it either”, Cullen’s breath was ragged, his hand clearly shaking when he released the Ambassador.

“How did this happen,” Leliana inspected it with her hands behind her back, “I mean, did this just show up?” She backed away from it.

“I woke up and the mirror was incrusted in it with that letter,” Scáthach pointed to their nightstand, “I woke Cullen up immediately”. Scáthach was rubbing her shoulders to comfort herself.

“Do we have any idea about that handwriting?” Cullen asked as Leliana picked it up with a gloved hand.

“I can have it analyzed,” she passed it to Josie, “Do you recognize the writing?”

“No, but I will look over notes to see if I can find something similar,” Josephine sighed.

 

“For now, we’re moving the mirror to the cellar, in that hidden alcove, in the morning we can all start trying to figure this out,” Cullen pinched the bridge of his nose, “I want to find who had the gall to threaten my wife and our child in _our_ room nonetheless,” he sighed loudly, “And the fact that it’s _fucking_ red lyrium worries me even more so”. Cullen looked to his wife, before he looked back to the mirror, “I will kill whoever did this. I cannot let traitors run in the midst of the Inquisition when we are so close to ending this. We need to find the source of that red lyrium”.

“Agreed” Leliana said from behind the mirror, no one even noticing that she had moved behind it until she spoke.

“We will deal with it in the morning, then” Josephine yawned.

“Yes,” Scáthach nodded, “Please send up the recruits and tell them to wear their gloves,” Cullen began to pull things out of the way for the recruits as the two advisors left.

\--

The rest of the night neither Cullen nor Scáthach slept well enough to actually call it sleep. When Cullen finally did fall asleep while the sky was begin to lighten up, he dreamt of the red substance, it had pulled at the magic in his skin, in his blood  from the years of using lyrium. He couldn’t focus. Couldn’t find his feet in the darkness. There were whispers there, calling out to him with slender fingers and bony hands telling him to come closer. He didn’t know where he was but it made his heart race. _Have to get out._ Cullen was now running though the unknown corridors…but they weren’t unknown. He ran past a bookshelf. One he remembered setting a book down on when he couldn’t remember where it went. He ran around a corner to narrowly avoid a bust of a familiar face he couldn’t name. He kept running by memories but he couldn’t name it. He felt like he was running for hours, sweat running down his brow. Maker he felt like he was running in circles….circle. _Circle._ This was Kinloch. The smells of burning flesh reached his nose and he reached for his sword. There was nothing to grasp. Nothing for his shaking hands to feel stable on. A loud growl echoed and caused him to throw his hands around his ears and drop to his knew. Cullen could see the shadow coming around the corner and he ran into the library, with no weapon, Cullen wasn’t sure if he could do this. But he heard her calling him, begging him for help. “CULLEN, HELP, PLEASE, MAKER, HELP ME”. _Scáthach._ When he stood he met resistance and when he looked down he was in his Knight-Captain armor and in his hand, his first sword he ever bought himself. His confusion interrupted when she cried out again and he began to run to her. _I can save her_. But the surroundings changed. He knew this place. The smell of the sea calling to his memory, the smell of leather and sweat pulled that memory into place. A place of devastation, of disappointment. _Kirkwall._   In the gallows, and in the reflection of a window he saw them. He saw the faces of those who failed their Harrowings. He saw the faces of the people he had killed to prevent the things they could become and he stood transfixed, unable to break from their lifeless eyes. _You didn’t have to kill us. You didn’t have to. Didn’t have to follow orders. You’re a murderer. Your soul is forever stained. You. Are. The.Abomination._  Cullen’s hands were shaking even further now. “You can fight them” a curt voice cut in and he whirled around to see Meredith, his Knight-Commander. He didn’t know why he felt repulsed, but he did.  His instincts said run, but why….why did he want to run. Meredith was his superior. _Why…_ When he felt an arm loop to his right he looked and saw Scáthach, smiling back at him with a babe attached to her hip. “Come on, Cul, let’s go home and celebrate”.   “Celebrate?” he turned and rubbed his child’s head who laughed. “We get some time together, and your son here, only laughs when Daddy’s near,” she handed the babe to him and he panicked. _I don’t want to hurt my son. The metal would be so startling to-_ Cullen stopped and noticed the familiar red of his armor. He didn’t feel right. This doesn’t feel right. He looked to the babe, but he felt nothing. No attachment. No fatherly instinct, nothing. His gut wretched at the realization. _Scáthach’s still pregnant_. He took the babe from his wife and sat it on their bed, then drew his weapon. His heart sunk as he did but he knew it wasn’t his wife. He looked away from it for a moment and noticed the child was no longer there despite the coo coming from the bed. _Maker, help me._

He turned and started walking towards her, this thing pretending to be his wife, “I know you, demon,” was all he said before it turned and smiled at him. “What are you talking about, love”. Cullen took a step back to re-position himself to face it. “My _wife_ ’s belly is still round with my child, you fucking monster,”  “Your child is it”, Cullen felt his heart sink. _No, it’s in my head._ The smile elongated to unnatural lengths and began to laugh. It sounded like her, moved like her, but it wasn’t her. “All that time apart from you and you think she had no others, hmm,” Cullen’s jaw clenched but kept his sword aimed at the illusion, “She would never”. “Is that what you think?” It began to remove its clothing, its hands long and sharp, but her body still the exact likeness of his wife. “You think she bed no other, hmm?” it was running its hands down the valley of its breasts. “I _know_ she would **never** ,” Cullen’s knuckles were turning white, pain shooting from his jaw from clenching his teeth together. _She would never._

“Oh? Is that why you’re angry? Because you _don’t_ think that after all those months apart she didn’t get lonely? That some young soldier didn’t warm her bed,” it was now pacing, making Cullen’s nerves stand on end, “Do you _really_ think that she always thinks of her worn out, addict lover when she’s alone and touching herself, “Cullen’s hands were shaking, his resolve wearing, _does she-NO, “_ Oh, that got you Templar, didn’t it? Do you think she’d imagine _you_ while spreading her legs for your recruits? The ones that laugh behind your back?  The ones who smile knowing that they filled her up and made her whine and writhe, hmm?” “Stop it” Cullen muttered, memories of their intimacies flooding his mind, guilt and, to his surprise, uncertainty accompanying them.  “You can imagine it, can’t you? Your lady love letting those handsome young Fereldans have a go” Cullen was shaking with rage trying to not let it in, but no lyrium….no lyrium meant no real protection, “Oh, or those rugged men from Starkhaven? You know she loves those accents. You know how she loves it when you call her _lass_ ” “Shut up” he snapped, remembering her blush the first time he called her that, teasing her about the accent she loved. “Can’t you just _see_ her opening her little mouth for them? Letting them pull her hair and scratch her back? You wouldn’t be able to tell from her battle wounds” _always returning with new scars._ Cullen lunged and it laughed as it was to his side now. It grabbed him through his pants which made Cullen swing again, “You poor, sad, man. You think you’re enough for her, don’t you? Don’t worry she loves you, but she just needs a little,” the demon grabbed its breast, still in the shape of Scáthach, “Well, she needs…more than you can offer her at _once._ So many orifices, mmm?”. Cullen lunged again but his sword was hit out of his hands so he reached for the dagger on his back as it laughed again. “You think she isn’t repulsed when you ask her to take you in her mouth? You think she likes that?”; _Scáthach moaning around him as he thrusted into her mouth, her grabbing onto his thighs to steady herself._ “STOP TALKING” You think she wants you to take her from behind because it feels good? No, dear _boy_ it so she can imagine another in your _place_ ” Cullen lunged this time and it screamed. But now it was bright. The room was cold and it was…crying? His hands had no weapons but they were on its wrists.

 

“Cullen, stop, wake up, _please,”_ Scáthach sobbed out, “Cullen, wake up”. Cullen shoved off of her and sat on his haunches.

“Scáthach?” his hands were still shaking and his dagger was in the bed, _NO._ “Did I hurt you?” she shook her head.

“Cullen?” she asked softly and when he looked her in the eyes she sighed, relieved, “Are you awake?”

Cullen got up out of bed the worry leaving his face and started pacing and she went to the edge of the bed, watching him. “I was dreaming. I saw you. It-it said things, showed me things. It made me feel…Maker the things it said. I wanted to kill it, tried to kill it but it kept talking and the words that came out of your-its mouth” Cullen looked to her and then looked back to his armor stand that was now holding his Knight-Captain armor. His brows knitted and he took a step forward before he blinked and it was his regular Inquisition armor.

“Cul, are you ok?” _Cul._ _It called me that._

“ _What_ ,” he all but snarled

She stepped back as he stalked to her, “Cullen, wake up,”

“I _am_ awake,” his heart was pounding, his nerves on fire and his memories fading and twisting and he couldn’t remember. Didn’t know what was real.

“You’re scaring me, Cullen,” she stiffened.

“You called me _Cul_ ,” he placed a hand on her shoulder and she tensed when he began to grip it tighter.

“And?” she pushed from him but he didn’t let go.

“So is all you have to say?” His chest was heaving, his eyes fixated on her.

“You’re hurting me, stop. Let me go” she pushed again, this time he did and she fell back onto the bed, a sneer across his face as a memory of something far. Something that made him seethe and shake; flashes of skin of her moaning names that were not his.

“Just where you are _so comfortable_ with” he turned around.

“Excuse me?” Scáthach stood again and Cullen rounded.

 “You think I don’t know, don’t you?” he was towering over her but she didn’t back down from him.

“Know what?” her terse voice grating on him. _You humiliate me, and now you’re pissy with me? You’re fucking joking._

“I know you fuck them” her brows pulled together, and she shook her head, “Don’t lie to me. I know you do. I know you let them. I hear them laugh, I hear them snicker as I pass”

“Cullen I would never-” she placed, or rather tried to, place her hand on him.

“ _Don’t_ _touch me_ ” he snarled, “You think I’m naïve, a stupid man too in love to see that his wife fucks his soldiers?”

“What is _wrong_ with you?” She started to walk away, her stomach catching his attention.

“Is it even mine?” Cullen snapped out and before he knew it she slapped him and he grabbed her wrist, hard causing her to drop to her knees.

“I assume that you know who the father is, hmm?” Cullen was shaking, rage and hate seeping off him, “Can you even tell me his name?”

“Cullen, you’re the father, fucking hell, let me go,” he didn’t flinch so she did the only thing she could think of and hit him again; once in the face and the next to his chest, knocking him off his balance. Scáthach grabbed a dagger from the desk and ran down the stairs.

“Guards, open the door,” she turned to see Cullen running to her and she ran faster, “OPEN THE DOOR” they opened the door barely in time for her to run and when they saw who she was running from the paused too long and he caught up with her. Everyone in the hall went silent, shocked at the event enfolding before them. As soon as he got close enough, his training kicked in. He dodged the thrusts and he caught her hand and knocked the dagger from her, kicking it away and she tripped on the rug, falling on her back; he worked quick, pinning her on the ground; his legs straddling her and one hand holding both of hers above her head, “I know you, demon,” Cullen muttered as he began to reach for something.

“GET OFF HER” Bull roared and tackled Cullen from atop her, the entirety of the keep in the hall for breakfast.

“Did you fuck her too?! Cullen screamed and when he blinked his eyes turned from amber to bright red. Bull hit him over the head and Cullen’s head hit the ground with a thud.

“What the fuck is going on?” Cassandra shouted.

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, I feel better now that I updated. Cullen's gone a bit nuts, yea? 
> 
> I just wanted to throw it out there that part of the reason (besides Uni) that I haven't updated is that I also got swept up in starting the background piece for this series as well as a couple AUs. There are a couple that I really like where they're going and a few that might just stay buried in my computer. And some PWP that once I get the courage, I will probably post. For now, I hope this satiates you all as I start the next one!
> 
> Also, title is from Arctic Monkey's song of same title.


End file.
